“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.” ~ Barbara De Angelis
We need to give ourselves a break! In a world where everyone is broadcasting a perfect snapshot of themselves, the pressure to be living your best, most successful, most picturesque life can be pretty intense. We need to remind ourselves that we, faults and all, are great just the way we are. Sure, we should all pay attention to our behaviours, and strive to be the better, but not without forgiving and loving the parts of ourselves that are a bit rough around the edges. Self-love is vital, because without it our grievances and insecurities spill out into the way we treat others and the world around us. Self-love is not selfish or to be trivialised, it is key to the betterment of all of our lives.
We can practice self-love every day; taking small steps to make us gradually more accepting of what makes us, fundamentally, us.
Have you ever taken a minute to appreciate how great it feels just after you have showered? Or had your hair cut? Or moisturised your face? These little rituals and moments that make our bodies feel a little more comfortable to live in fuel mental and body confidence. There is a little more spring in your step if you know you have taken a bit of effort with your appearance; taken an extra 5 minutes over your skin care or bothered to iron your shirt, for example. So, what makes you feel great? Practice your little personal self-love ritual every day; no screens, no distractions, just you taking care of you for a few moments.
Your Happy Place
Where are you most content? A place in your world where you can sit in peace and enjoy ‘just being’. It might be your bedroom, it might be the shower, it might be your car. It might not even be a physical place, maybe you are at your calmest when listening to your favourite song or artist. Wherever or whatever it is, make sure you spend a little time here every day.
Clear Your Head
I have been working on the Southbank of the River Thames in London recently. I deliberately arrive half an hour early, to grab a coffee, plug my iPod in and look out at the river before starting my work day. The aim here is to not dwell on my worries or on the work to come, but to just think about nothing and appreciate my surroundings. It ensures that I start work from a place of clam and centredness.
As earlier touched upon, we must stop comparing ourselves to others! In the world we live in, this is a trap that virtually all of us have fallen in to. It is not helpful, is crushes your conviction in your own actions and stunts your confidence, as makes you feel like you are not good enough. Everybody has their doubts and pitfalls, no matter what they project to other people. You do ‘You’!
What Is Great About You?
Make a list. What are you great at? Nobody need look at this list, so there should be no fear that you are appearing arrogant or self-involved. What can you categorically say you are good at? What makes you fantastic? A daily, or even weekly, muse over your good qualities will help to remind you of your worth.
Be Good at Something
You have a list now, so you know what you are good at! This is a great way to inject some self-esteem into your day, and to get some endorphins firing around your body. This could include almost anything; make your favourite meal, go running, play a musical instrument, tell a story or even clean your house!
Practice Letting Go
A big part of the ‘beating ourselves up’ habit stems from our inability to let go of the past. We have all thought back to something we said, or a decision we have made that makes us physically wince. Self-loathing and grudges are toxic when carried around, they are huge blockers to love of all kinds. This is not a quick fix, but if you practice self-forgiveness on a daily basis, then you will become progressively less resentful about your past.
By Chris Thomson
Treating yourself with love and respect is the key to treating others in the same way. Look after yourself and take a few moments during the day… 6 Mini Meditations for Work
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