The Conscious Guide To Stress

The Conscious Guide To Stress

The Conscious Guide To Stress 720 480 The Conscious Professional

The 2015/2016 statistics from the UK Health and Safety Executive are in and show there were 488,000 cases of stress last year and 11.7 million working days lost. Stress remains an epidemic in the business world, hitting bottom lines hard and affecting both happiness and career progression. In this article, I question how we can approach stress more mindfully, consciously and optimistically.

Let’s start with a little experiment.

Without thinking about it, what are the first things that come to mind when you consider the word stress?

Do you see visions of newspaper headlines?
Stress is on the rise!
New study warns workplace stress is killing you!
Stress increases the risk of heart disease!

Or does your mind go to your current stressors?

That deadline just got moved to tomorrow – how am I going to get it all done?

You need me to do that evening presentation, now I’ll miss Flynn’s recital!

My review is coming up and my boss has it in for me.

Certainly, the majority of messages we receive on stress, and the spontaneous thoughts that arise when we consider it, are negative, fearful, compassionless, and anxiety-inducing.

So let’s see if there is a more conscious and mindful formulation, a way to approach stress with a little more balance, ingenuity and clarity.

Firstly, we need to define stress and whilst there are countless definitions available, my favourite is that of Stanford health psychologist Kelly McGonigal who says “Stress is what arises when something you care about is at stake”.

This is a beautiful reframing of the usual idea that stress is the unhealthy physical or mental pressure felt in the mind or body when we have to do things, or put up with things, that are hard or we don’t like.

If stress only arises when something we care about is at stake, it immediately challenges the notion that the aim of stress-management is to reduce or eliminate stress. Because of course, if we were to succeed at this, we would also have to eliminate from our lives everything that we care about. It follows that the real opposite of stress is not relaxation but apathy. Think about it. Do you really want a stress-free life?

Whilst clarifying our definitions let’s also think about all the negative things in life that we lump collectively under the label of stress.

Try this exercise. Divide a piece of paper into four quadrants and label them with the headings below. Now populate the quadrants with everything in your life that you consider to be stressful.

  1. Trauma

    Eg. death of a loved one, end of a relationship, major illness etc.

  2. Stressors of Daily Living

    Eg. minor illness, work deadline, low level relationship discord etc.

  3. Activities of Daily Living

    Eg. laundry, washing up, cooking, paying bills etc.

  4. Irritants

    Eg. poor service at a restaurant, a rude receptionist, a blister on your heel.

I hope you can see that not all stressors are created equal. When we are dealing with traumas we absolutely need time and support to process, grieve, and heal, but if you are getting worked up about irritants, mindfulness can teach you to simply let these go.

It is even more important to develop a healthy approach to category 2 and 3 stressors as research shows that these daily hassles are a more accurate predictor of stress related problems such as anxiety and depression than the absence or presence of major traumas[1].

Data from the Daily Hassles and Uplifts Scale Stress Research Survey[2] also shows that when people view their activities of daily living and working as irritations, they find their lives more stressful overall. If this is you, consider whether you can bring acceptance and presence to these tasks. Remember, the ability to remain present to a task at hand is an indicator of both performance and happiness.

As we have seen, your mindset is very important to how you will experience or react to stress in your life. Research shows that your mindset is also a predictor of how damaging stress will be to your physical and mental health. This finding comes from a fascinating study titled ‘Does the perception that stress affects health matter? The association with health and mortality’[3]. It examined data from the US National Health Interview Survey of 1998 and compared it to data from the National Death Index in 2006 and concluded that both higher levels of reported stress and the perception that stress affects health were independently associated with an increased likelihood of worse health and mental health outcomes. In other words, if you think your stress is killing you, it actually is more likely to, than if you think your stress is healthy and manageable!

Armed with these definitions and research findings here is my Conscious Guide to Stress.

1) Be Aware

Start by noticing what your personal physical and mental signs of stress are. (Reaching for the gin, chocolate, caffeine, phone, cigarettes or withdrawing from connection are just a few). Categorise your current stressors using the quadrant method frequently to retain perspective and seek support early when you need it.

2) Aim for Balance

Work out which activities spend your energy and which restore it. Spend ones are easy to identify but what are your restore activities? Exercise, holidays, yoga, meditation, deep sleep, time in nature, all might be on your list. Ensure you have enough restorative time to balance all the spend.

3) Be Positive

If you are in a period of high stress, take adequate steps to support yourself through it and tell yourself you are well equipped for this challenge and that you can meet it. Keep your energy and outlook positive.

4) Be Realistic

As pressure increases performance does too, but there is a point when you are overly stretched and performance quickly drops. No amount of positive thinking is going to get you through and excessive strain can only lead to deterioration of both performance and wellbeing. If this is where you are, a wholesale rebalancing needs to take place. Do it now, don’t wait.

[1] Kanner, A. D., Coyne, J. C., Schaefer, C., & Lazarus, R. S. (1981). Comparison of two modes of stress measurement: Daily hassles and uplifts versus major life events. Journal of behavioral medicine, 4(1), 1-39.

[2] Relationship of daily hassles, uplifts, and major life events to health status.

By DeLongis, Anita; Coyne, James C.; Dakof, Gayle; Folkman, Susan; Lazarus, Richard S. Health Psychology, Vol 1(2), 1982, 119-136.

[3] Abiola Keller, Kristin Litzelman, Lauren E. Wisk, Torsheika Maddox, Erika Rose Cheng, Paul D. Creswell, and Whitney P. Witt, Health Psychol. 2012 Sep; 31(5): 677–684.

P.S. Whenever you are ready… here are 4 ways we can support your personal and professional Conscious Goals:

1. Access Free Live Meditations & Energy Transmissions

Inside our private Facebook Group, The Conscious Professional Mindful Community where Neil leads live weekly community events. Join now for free.

2. Learn To Meditate With Neil Seligman In Just 10 Days!

Zen in Ten, our flagship online course, is a ten-day mindfulness challenge for people who need to slow down.

3. Work With Neil One-To-One

See if a Conscious Coaching Partnership is right for you. Book a 15-minute discovery call with Neil here.

4. Bring The Conscious Professional To Your Business

See if The Conscious Professional training and coaching programmes are right for your team or workplace. Book a call here.

The Conscious Professional is dedicated to delivering inspiring corporate mindfulness and professional resilience training, conscious leadership coaching and workplace wellbeing services at the level of professional excellence. Thank you for following our blog.


Hi, thanks for visiting!

To receive email updates about our courses and events please enter your details below.
*Your data is held safely in compliance with our Privacy Policy.

Get ready to feel in control of your inner and outer world.


Sign up to receive updates